Now that you have kids, are you finding that your relationship with your spouse has taken a back seat?
The structural integrity of your entire family depends on that relationship. If you want to have a strong family and be a happier person and a better parent, it is vital that you keep your marriage strong.
If you feel like the spark is gone from your relationship, here are 5 easy tips for bringing it back:
1. Sixty Seconds Of Cuddling
Have you ever noticed that new, young couples touch each other all the time – they sit close together, hold hands, touch each other’s arms, and kiss all the time – and couples that have been married for many years hardly touch at all?
It may take more effort to remember to touch your spouse frequently once you’ve been together for a while and have gotten comfortable around each other, but it’s well worth the effort. Hugs, kisses, pats, and shoulder massages make you both feel great and strengthens the bond between you.
Talk to your spouse and make an agreement: Whenever you’ve been apart, even if it was just for the length of one work day, you’ll both take just one minute to touch each other, cuddle, and reconnect the moment you see each other again. If you commit to doing this and follow through on it, you’ll start touching each other more often at other times, too, and you’ll find the romance coming back into your relationship.
2. Compliment Your Partner
Compliments increase our positive feelings toward the person who gave them to us, not just our own self-esteem. If your partner tells you something like, “I’m so lucky to be married to you. You’re terrific,” not only do you feel loved, but you also feel that you are more of a loving person.
That’s the power that compliments have. All you have to do is remember to give them. It’s free, easy to do, and takes almost no time. You can give compliments even for seemingly mundane things: “You look really good in that jacket,” or “Thanks for stopping to pick up dinner.”
3. Commit To Each Other
We’re not just talking about making a formal pledge here – we’re talking about putting effort, time, and thought into nurturing your relationship, each and every day.
If you really think about how you treat your partner and make the effort to be the best spouse you can be, you and your partner may feel like you’re falling in love once again, and your kids will be emotionally healthier, too. Children need constant reassurance that life at home is secure, safe, and stable, in the form of actions and words that they can see and hear. If they see and hear you and your spouse acting in loving ways, they will know that their home life is good, and they’ll thrive.
You don’t have to carve out any extra time to make this happen, either. All you have to do is change your attitude, and focus on and commit to building a happy, strong relationship.
4. Take Some Time To Just Be A Couple
This doesn’t mean you have to find a babysitter for an evening. All it means is finding a few minutes out of every day when you and your spouse can enjoy each other’s company, without any interruptions from crying babies, kids pulling on your clothes, or teenagers asking for money.
Here are some ideas for how you can find the time to do this: Walk around the block together at sunrise every day, or share a small dessert or a cup of tea after the kids are asleep. Little moments like these can really help you connect as a couple again.
5. Love Your Spouse For Who He Is
Are your spouse’s habits driving you crazy? Remember that when you and your spouse got together, there were good reasons why you chose to be together. To keep the romantic spark in your relationship, you have to learn to overlook your partner’s imperfections and focus on the good you see in them.
Promise yourself that you won’t let little things like leaving dirty clothes all over the bathroom floor, not loading the dishwasher as efficiently as possible, and burping at the dinner table come between you and your love for this person.
Instead, look for and appreciate the things that make this person wonderful: watching him play with the kids, finding your favorite cookies cooling in the kitchen, and the knowledge that you know each other so well that you can both get away with wearing old, faded T-shirts around the house and burping during dinner.