Admitting to yourself that you’re not ready to enter a relationship can be very hard to do when single. Everyone should get the chance to be in a loving, healthy romantic relationship, but depending on your circumstances and emotional health, it may not be a good idea to jump right into one. It may be better for you and your eventual partner if you get your emotions and other parts of your life straightened out first.
Before committing to a relationship, always stop and ask yourself these 5 questions:
1. Are You Really Over Your Ex?
If not, getting involved with someone else is highly unwise. Using someone who may or may not really like you to help heal a broken heart is wrong, because your relationship with the new person will be permanently tainted by thoughts about your ex.
You won’t really be able to start fresh – you’ll just try to work out whatever unresolved issues you and your ex may have had with your new partner. Or, even worse, you won’t be able to judge him for who he is, but only on the basis of what your ex was like.
2. What Do You Really Want From A Relationship?
Maybe you really want a relationship, but before you start one, consider this: How deep and how exclusive do you want it to be? Do you just want to go on some casual dates? Do you want a “friends with benefits” relationship? Do you want to find the love of your life and settle down?
Whatever you want, if you know what your ultimate goal is, you’ll enjoy the pursuit of dating more and feel much more confident abut it.
3. Are You An “Independent” Person?
The main difference between being independent and being selfish is that independent people can work out effective compromises with others, and selfish people cannot.
Do you have to have everything your way, all the time? Do you disappear for days at a time without informing anybody of where you’re going? When you’re at a social event, do you have to have the spotlight the whole time?
If any of these sounds like you, you need to learn how to be considerate of others’ needs, compromise, and share the attention before getting into a relationship.
4. Are Your Finances In Order?
That question may strike you as completely unrelated to the question of whether or not you’re ready for a relationship, but bear with us for a moment.
Sticking to a budget and investing money wisely are skills that are essential to being an adult. If you’re having trouble meeting your own needs and financial responsibilities, how can you expect to be able to take care of someone else’s needs?
5. Is This Guy The Right Type For You?
Maybe every guy you’ve ever had a relationship with has turned out to be a cheater or a slimeball, even though you’ve always insisted that you want a “real man.”
If this is the case, it’s very likely that you’re actually afraid of having a lasting relationship, and in order to avoid getting into one, you’ve stuck exclusively to guys who don’t have the right stuff for a long-term relationship.