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Sex is a bit like sports; just having the chance to play is a big part of the fun. But of course, it’s always more fun when you win. And in the case of sex, winning is that earth-moving orgasm that leaves you weak in the knees.
Unfortunately for some women, winning at sports is a lot easier than having a satisfying climax during sex. Keep reading to find some tried and true tips from the experts that can have you reaching orgasm every time you’re in the game.
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1. Experiment With Your Leg Position
The position in which you hold your legs can have an effect on whether or not you reach orgasm.
Some ladies find that holding their legs together tightly helps increase friction, while others find that a more wide open position works best for them. Every woman’s body is different, so try opening and closing your legs to see what brings you more pleasure.
Your body will have a mind of its own when it comes to how it derives pleasure from sex, so do a little experimentation to figure out what it’s looking for!
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2. There’s No Need to Memorize The Kama Sutra
As mentioned above, you’ll find that there are certain positions that give you the maximum enjoyment in sex. What those positions are will depend on each individual woman because each of our bodies are a little different.
There is no miracle position that works every time for every woman, so experiment with your partner to figure out what works best for you. Different parts of your vagina will be stimulated depending upon the position you’re in, and that can make all the difference for you.
And of course, you shouldn’t downplay the mental side of sex; being on top and in charge can be very exciting for one woman, while the submissiveness of being on all fours may be more arousing for others.
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3. Don’t Forget to Breathe
Each orgasm is a series of contractions of the muscles in the vaginal walls.
Like with any other muscle use, it takes a good supply of oxygen to make it happen. If you have a habit of holding your breath as you get more aroused, you may actually be preventing your own climax.
Instead, as the excitement mounts, make sure that you breathe – perhaps try an exhaled “puff” with each thrust to help your rhythm.
4. Take A More Active Role
Women sometimes believe that their orgasm should come to them from the actions being done by their partner, but it’s been shown that good things come to those that take a more active role in the sexual activities.
Get more involved and think about more than just your orgasm; move your body more, meet your partner’s thrusts half way. If you feel stiff or uncomfortable, yoga or belly dancing classes can make you more flexible and more comfortable with your body.
5. Fake It Until You Make It
While the idea of women faking orgasm is so old as to be clichéd, and may feel like cheating, acting a little over the top can actually help to arouse your body’s desires. The movements and noises can be exciting for both you and your partner, creating more opportunity for your satisfaction.
6. Ask Your Partner to Talk to You
As mentioned above, sexual excitement isn’t a purely physical thing, there’s a huge mental part, also. Why not ask your partner to help stimulate your mental libido by talking to you during sex?
For some women, hearing him whisper sweet nothings is enough to make them melt. But for others, it’s the raunchy language that really gets the juices flowing. So give it try – you never know what might work.
7. Make Sure You’re Communicating
Since we all find pleasure in different ways, it can be impossible for our partners to know what it takes for us. You may need slow and steady action, while another woman may prefer shorter, faster thrust.
The thing is, your partner won’t know which you like unless you tell him. You may find it embarrassing to talk about but if you don’t, how is he supposed to know what you want?
One trick – when something feels good, say so! It will encourage him to continue doing whatever it is that feels so right – and will probably turn him on even more.
8. Stimulate Your Clitoris
Despite talk of the G-spot, the overwhelming majority of women need clitoral stimulation in order to reach orgasm. Only about one-third of women have said they experience vaginal orgasms, and half of those women also required some stimulation to the clitoris.
Many men are unaware of this, or of how to properly apply pressure to your clitoris. Remember every woman is different, so don’t be afraid to show or tell him exactly what you need.
9. Ask Him To Caress Your Breasts
It’s unlikely that you need to tell your man to pay attention to your breasts, but you may have to remind him of it during sex. Have him pay special attention to your nipples.
Stimulating the breasts helps release the hormone Oxytocin, which is associated with helping increase milk flow when nursing; but it’s also known to stimulate vaginal contractions, leading to orgasm.
What many don’t know is that this technique also has an effect on men! Caressing his nipples will help him reach peak arousal faster.
10. Exercise Your Vaginal Muscles
As mentioned, an orgasm is a contraction of the vaginal muscles, so it stands to reason that if the muscles aren’t toned, it can become more difficult to reach orgasm. Also, orgasm won’t be as earth-shattering as it could be!
Doing Kegel exercises (squeezing and relaxing the muscles as if trying to stop your urine stream) will strengthen the muscles in your pelvic floor and can bring some amazing results.
11. Fantasies Are Fun
Concentrating on your favorite fantasy during sex can increase arousal. What’s more, fantasizing throughout the day can help get your brain on the right track more easily.
Can’t think of anything? Try reading some erotic stories on the Internet!
12. Learn How to Orgasm
If you’ve never had an orgasm, you may not know how! Masturbating can help you learn where your bodies “pleasure spots” are, and once you find them, it becomes much easier to climax with a partner. Therapists often recommend masturbation to those who have difficulty with orgasm.
If you’re not sure how to start, try clitoral stimulation with a vibrator like the Pocket Pleaser. It’s cute and unthreatening – you may even want to ask your partner to help!
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