Free Love Quotes Ebook: Get 101 Of The Most Romantic Love Quotes And Sayings In This Ebook To Express Your Love For Him. Click/Tap Here To Download Now... >>
That creeping suspicion that your partner is not being faithful to you has to be one of the most unpleasant feelings out there and something that can do an awful lot of damage in more ways than you might imagine.
When you suspect your partner is being disloyal, you will find yourself feeling personally hurt that they would think about going behind your back and you will become highly sensitive and insecure as a result. Suddenly you will find yourself questioning everything they say and do and asking yourself whether they’re telling the truth about where they’re going, why they are wearing new perfume/cologne and where they got those flowers. Everything becomes another reason to be suspicious and it’s enough to drive you mad.
Then there are more complicated feelings and effects thrown into the mix too. Being that distrusting of course isn’t particularly nice and can make you feel like something of a traitor: this is someone you love and yet you can’t even trust them? You can end up resenting yourself, acting strangely and generally it can all start to unravel.
All this can lead you to make some wrong moves and choices and end up jeopardising your relationship unnecessarily. You can make a false accusation and damage your happy image together, or you can end up driving them further away with your suspicion and insecurity.
The single most important thing to remember then, is to keep your cool and to stay calm. It’s time to start making decisions with your head and that means keeping a cool level of detachment. Here’s what you should do then…
Between busy schedules and long days, expressing love can fall by the wayside. We forget to compliment, to give gifts “just because,” to linger in our embrace. The things that say “I love you” seem to either not get said or not get through. This is a book about saying it-and hearing it-clearly. No gimmicks. No psychoanalyzing. Just learning to express love in your spouse’s language… Click/tap here to find out more on Amazon.com >>
Gather More Evidence
The first thing to do is to start gathering more evidence to try and find out whether you have cause to be concerned. This is your ‘first response’ and as such it’s important to try and be fair and to try and avoid invading their privacy in case you’re wrong – that can otherwise be highly damaging to your relationship.
A few preliminary checks for instance might be to suggest that your partner goes out with you spontaneously one night and cancelling plans to go to their class/see their friend. If they are hesitant then it may be a sign that they are actually doing something else. Asking in depth questions about their night out can also be helpful, but make sure that they come across as interested rather than accusing. Planning a big holiday can also be a good strategy as can offering to pick them up and drop them off places if you’re ‘in the area’.
Another way to gently probe might be to playfully try to steal their phone and threaten to text their friend something embarrassing. This gives you an excuse to take a look at their messages but the idea is not to go through them but rather to gauge their reaction.
You should also look out for classic signs: stress, coldness or extra affection, changes in appearance etc. But think logically about these signs and remember to use your head and not to get too flustered.
With more than a million copies sold worldwide, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Click/tap here to find out more on Amazon.com >>
The Next Step
Before you probe further, your next step might be to try and get an admission out of them. This doesn’t mean accusing them still – rather it means simply telling them that you’ve noticed things have been ‘different’ or that you don’t feel as close. There’s a chance that they will respond by breaking down and admitting they’ve been seeing someone else, but even if they don’t their response might be telling. It’s up to you if you want to push further and suggest they’re seeing someone, but note that this can do a lot of damage.
Whether you have raised the issue and they’ve denied it, or you have opted not to tackle the issue head on, you might then want to try using a private investigator. This of course is a little invasive for your partner, but it does mean that you’ll be able to collect information that otherwise wouldn’t be possible. Better yet, an objective pair of eyes means you won’t need to worry about emotions getting in the way of clarity. They can keep an eye on your partner without being seen and relay that back to you – either giving you concrete evidence to present to your other half, or preferably putting your mind finally at ease.
Limited Time Only: Download Your Free Love Quotes EBook:
This little book contains fill-in-the-blank lines describing some aspect of your affection for your beloved. Just complete each line and voilà: you have a uniquely personal gift your loved one will read again and again. Make it as mushy, racy, or witty as you choose! Click/tap here to find out more on Amazon.com >>
Guest post by Nicola Joseph, who is a freelance blogger and currently writing for In Depth Investigations, a leading infidelity investigators in Perth. She is great with software and enjoys reading of the latest tech developments. You can also follow her on Twitter @Nicola Joseph.